Getting To The Delicious Center Of Alan Dershowitz And PierogiGate

At this point, we need to consider the possibility that complaining about Martha’s Vineyard is just Dershowitz’s kink. He’s spent years bemoaning the fact that nobody on the famed vacation spot likes him and even threatening legal action for perceived slights. Rather than just spend his summers in MAGA country where his role as a Trump apologist wouldn’t cause a stir, he persists in returning to the island where he is so egregiously silenced leaving his voice no other outlet than his bestselling books and 173,000+ YouTube subscribers.

Last week, he told his fans “I’m suing,” after a pierogi vendor refused to sell to him because of Dershowitz’s politics and who he’s represented. Such a lawsuit may sound frivolous — because it is, as political beliefs are not a protected class — but it does make for a snappy podcast title!

Over the weekend, more details emerged with Crooked Media correspondent Matt Berg securing a copy of the police report and writing about it for his newsletter (snippet included on his social media).

Scoop: I got the (hilarious) police report on Alan Dershowitz's pierogi dispute.

“Dershowitz stated he was going to spread the word to others at the market to not buy from the pierogi booth." The cop warned him not to.

But at a lemonade stand, Dersh kept it up. pic.twitter.com/6z9j6yufPA

— Matt Berg (@mattberg33) August 1, 2025

And if you’re just imagining what it must look like for the Harvard Law Emeritus to devote his vacation time to venting about pierogies, you don’t have to. Because as the description notes, there’s a video of his conversation with the police!

View the original article to see embedded media.

Can someone get this man an empanada or something?

But this episode does raise an important question: where does he go from here? Dershowitz complaining about Martha’s Vineyard is the MCU of legal schadenfreude and we’ve watched him advance from generalized gripes, to getting in a yelling match with Larry David to going after the public library for not inviting him to talk… but what tops “threatening to sue over Polish dumplings”? This is his Endgame!

For more of the latest in litigation, regulation, deals and financial services trends, sign up for Finance Docket, a partnership between Breaking Media publications Above the Law and Dealbreaker.